


See Your Sins, and Love Them

by abunchoflizards



Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: F/F, it's gay and a slow burn, uhhhh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-25 07:28:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14972111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abunchoflizards/pseuds/abunchoflizards
Summary: Humans live between the worlds of Heaven and Hell. Angels are born and watch over the Earth, while Devils are born and tempt those on the ground. Devils and Angels are not to interact. From two different worlds, they are the opposites, never to touch. But Angels can be tempted, lured towards the edge by a Devil with a voice sweet as honey, and one day, fall.As a Devil, you should not feel regret. The pain and torment of others is what you live for, it’s what you thrive in. But she feels it, deep in her soul. She stares at the sky where someone once was. Why does she feel this regret? It’s unlike her. Everytime she looks up at the sky, she feels it. She doesn’t know why. She wants to know why. She’s going to find that person she saw in the sky, and finally know why she’s plagued with regret.Currently on hiatus due to lack of inspiration for the fic.





	1. The First of Many

She doesn’t know why, but Hanamaru always wakes up early in the morning. She likes to think it’s just an odd habit of hers. Waking up early means she can read before going to school, which to her, is always a plus. That’s what she does. She wakes up, sees the clock, and grabs a book. Sometimes though, she leaves the comfort of her room to see the sunrise. From where she lives, it’s easy to see. The temple overlooks the sea, so by standing at the entrance, she can see the sun rise from behind the ocean.

She wants to show everyone this, but she knows that they don’t wake up as early as she does. They all sleep until a reasonable time while she reads until she needs to get ready for the day. And by the time she’s at school, the sunrise she loves is gone.

It’s not that she minds, things like that don’t bother her that much. But she knows that they would enjoy it, which is why she wants them to see it at least once. Hanamaru has never talked about the sunrise. She just enjoys it by herself, thinking that no one would be willing to wake up with her to see it. 

Even while mentioning it during lunch without much of a thought, no one pays attention to it. They’re all focused on practice. Granted, she is too. Though it being the only thing at lunch does sometimes drag on. Yet today, when mentioning that she’d like to show them the ocean at sunrise quietly, someone pays attention. Yoshiko. It’s nice to see her face, despite how crazy she can get. It’s comforting sight when she needs it, being able to look back at when they were kids. An Angel… back then, she said that all the time. But now, she’s a fallen angel. Hanamaru, despite knowing the girl since they were little, has never understood why that has changed within Yoshiko.

“The sunrise? What are you talking about?” She’s loud, and that’s something that could never be forgotten about Yoshiko. Loud and full of energy. Despite that, she’s welcomed in Hanamaru’s bubble of calm. 

“I’d like to show you the sun rise over the sea. It’s beautiful, zura. A shining path to the future, zura.” She smiles up at the other girl. The blush on her cheeks is easy to see, it contrasts with her dark hair. “You’re blushing, Yoshiko.” She watches her cheeks flush more and her friend tries to disprove the obvious pink on her face.

“Don’t call me Yoshiko, Hanamaru!” It’s a good day. But once the situational blush fades, she’s greeted with another question. “When?” It catches her off guard somewhat, Hanamaru blinking up at her then smiling. 

“What about tomorrow morning? Stay over and we can see the sunrise together, zura.” She doesn’t mean for it to be an sort of flirtatious, but she watches as a blush returns to Yoshiko. It’s cute. She’s waiting for an answer. It takes a moment, finally getting an answer from her friend.

“Yeah! Show me!” Ah, it’s definitely a good day.

To Hanamaru, it’s no secret that she likes Yoshiko. She thinks it’s quite obvious. But somehow her friend continues to be thick-skulled, not noticing the things she does. Staying close by her side, always talking to her. Isn’t it obvious? And she thinks that in the morning, it might finally hit her.

She’s cute when she sleeps. That’s all Hanamaru can think when she’s looks at Yoshiko’s sleeping form. It’s true. The way her lips curl up slightly into a smile and how her hair frames her face in the moonlight, she’s definitely cute. If given the time, she could probably watch her friend sleep for hours. She shouldn’t though. She should be getting her own sleep. Knowing she’ll only be waking up in a few hours deters her from actually falling asleep. So Hanamaru reads for the few hours before she needs to wake up Yoshiko. She’ll probably hate herself tomorrow for it, but right now, it’s alright. 

When she shakes her friend awake, she enjoys the little noise Yoshiko makes. It’s a cute whine. She still needs to get her out of bed, so she shakes her a little more. She has to be reminded of why she’s here, and once she is, that energetic glow is back.

“Alright, show me Hanamaru!” She leads her friend to the entrance of the temple, pointing towards the ocean. Within a few moments, they watch as the sun peeks out from behind the waves and rises to the sky. The ocean is a wonderful reddish, orange color as it happens. Turning her face a little, Hanamaru sees a single moment of awe from Yoshiko, only to snap back. 

“It’s not that cool.” The retort makes her laugh. Of course Yoshiko would say that, of course. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t be who she is. Hanamaru has the urge to kiss her, but instead just holds her hand. It’s a calm morning, one where the sun is out before the clouds can form. She doesn’t want to forget this morning, she wants it to be the first of many. Though, there’s no way of that happening for sure. Still, it has to be the first of many calm and happy mornings.


	2. Trickle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall are so sweet! thank you for the comments and i will keep this fic going!

The morning are less lonely since she shared it with Yoshiko. It’s not that she has her friend by her side, but that she’s no longer the only one that appreciates them. She knows it’s only because of the sunrise. Still, the thought of someone else enjoying it fills her with happiness. Even if Yoshiko’s not with her, Hanamaru still believes it to be a happy morning.

School, despite being surrounded by everyone, is somewhat boring. It’s not as good as a book that she can curl up in at the school library. Yes, learning is important. But she finds that she can learn so much more from a good book than the teacher at the front of the classroom sometimes. It’s not always the case. There are times where she appreciates the things her teacher drones on about. Not often, but a welcome occurrence. 

Though, there’s only so much time Hanamaru can spend in her books. She loves them dearly, but there’s people that love her and want her to be there. Ruby needs her often, a support or someone that can comfort her. The redhead’s gone a long way from how she used to be. While she still stutters and has issues with compliments, she’s able to shine on the stage. Ruby’s able to shine no matter what, not just by being on stage. It’s just that she only sees herself shining on stage, not anywhere else.

“Hanamaru…” She’s dragged out of her book by the voice of Ruby. It’s quiet, but she can pick up her voice from anywhere. There’s no one who speaks quite like she does. For a moment Hanamaru tries to figure out why Ruby has called for her, only to be reminded by looking at the clock. Practice for their newest song is in full swing. She can’t miss even a single moment if she wants to be able to do it right. Of course, before she’s given the chance to even respond to Ruby that she’s coming, another voice echoes into the library. 

“Hanamaru!” Ah. The loud and vivacious girl has burst her way into the library, instantly swinging herself to say hello. While Yoshiko is always welcome in the library, she’s still not supposed to be loud. Even if it’s just the three of them in there, Hanamaru likes to make sure it stays quiet. The library is a place to be quiet and think. At least, that’s what Hanamaru has told herself.

“I’m coming, I’m coming.” The excitement of singing slowly fills her, and she looks down at her book again. She can finish it some other time. When eyes have been taken off of her, she looks at the small magazine clipping of Rin Hoshizora. Hanamaru will never admit it, but that girl has given her plenty of strength to keep going.

When practice flies by, it’s hard to believe. Having fun makes things faster, but she doesn’t want it to be. Once she gets into the swing of things, she doesn’t want to get out of them. All she wants to be able to continue with the music. Still, she’s pulled out. It’s time to go home. And more importantly, she should head to bed soon. The sunrise is always on her mind.

It reminds her of Yoshiko. Looking at the sunrise fills her with that familiar warmth that she gets when she’s near the other. It’s that fuzzy feeling of happiness and belonging that seeps into her. From her odd verbal tic and small quirks, Hanamaru is filled with that love she feels from Yoshiko. Then again, she doesn’t know if what she’s given is what she gives. She gives with all the possible love she has, hoping that it’ll be noticed. But it never is. Yoshiko, the densest person she’s ever met, can’t see that she’s being flirted with. It’s hard to believe. It’s simply that Yoshiko seems to shake those types of things off. The fallen angel facade she likes to keep up restricts her from accepting those compliments and feelings. This is all assumptions on Hanamaru’s part though.

Her sleep is often without dreams. She doesn’t know why. Dreams just don’t seem to come to her when she sleeps, instead her head is blank. Tonight though, there’s a small flicker in the back of her mind. It’s gentle and tells her to listen.

She is surrounded by clouds. She can’t see through them, but she knows they’re clouds. It’s hard to see the sky through it, reaching out for the sun. She just can’t reach its warmth though. It’s just out of reach, to the point where it’s painful. And Hanamaru can feel the clouds around her. They nip, almost as if she shouldn’t be there. That feeling is in the pit of her stomach. Still, she tries to reach for the sun and the warmth she can’t have. 

A hand reaches down within the clouds. It’s pale and cold, contrasting the sun. But the feeling, it’s familiar and welcome. That hand is just out of reach as well. She wants to grab it, she tries desperately to hold onto that hand completely, nothing happening. It feels like ages that she’s there, trying to reach for that hand. And when she does grab it, relief washing over her, she begins to fall. That sensation of falling is what wakes her up. It’s made her chest tight, but she can calm herself. The sunrise is close. That warmth of the sun peaking over the ocean calms her. 

The warmth also reaches Yoshiko, shining into her room. She doesn’t appreciate it, turning over to keep it out of her eyes. There’s an odd feeling on her hand, like it’s being held. She knows this because of holding hands during practice, but also by holding Hanamaru’s hand when they were little. It’s that familiar slight squeeze on the palm that makes her realize that what she feels is Hanamaru holding her hand somehow. The sudden realization makes her squirm. She stares at her hand, savoring the gentle memory of holding hands with her. She doesn’t know why she’s begun to care about the smallest things when it comes to Hanamaru, but she cares anyways. 

It’s the small smile and the verbal tic she’s grown to love. Love? What does her head mean by love? She doesn’t need that sort of thing. She’s a fallen angel after all. She thinks she doesn’t need the sort of love her mind is going. Though, she needs it, that love. She doesn’t want to accept the feelings in her chest. Yoshiko does her best to push them down and look at the sunrise like Hanamaru. The same warmth of peace floods into her as well. The sky and the clouds call out to her when she looks at them. They tell her to come back, only for her to turn away. She doesn’t need the clouds, or anything like that. A fallen angel… What does a fallen angel need? There’s no definitely answer, but she knows that she doesn’t need the sky anymore. It can just be there, pretty and nothing more. Even if there’s an ache in her chest from turning away from the sky, even if she feels called to it, it’s just the sky. 

Hanamaru can hear it, that trickle of memory. It’s not a strong one, but one that makes her smile sadly. It gives her a somber tone instead of the normal cheer she radiates around everyone. Though, that’s not much cheer in the first place when it comes to her. The memory is a starting point, the beginning of something she doesn’t want to happen. It has to, though. It’ll happen sooner or later. It hurts to think about. Somehow she can smile out of those thoughts. They aren’t set in stone. That’s what she reminds herself.

“Yoshiko… Can you feel the sun too?”


	3. Clouds are Lifting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anxiety comes over Hanamaru, and the big picture begins to show itself to Yoshiko.

It’s only a few hours after when Hanamaru goes to straighten herself up before heading to school. Usually it’s just brushing a few hairs out of her face and straightening her skirt. But today, she finds herself staring at small black horn sticking from her head. She’s not sure how or why it’s begun to appear. Thankfully, it’s somewhat easy to put back. A tuck and a bit of annoyed shuffling gets it back into hiding. There’s a possibility that she’s getting anxious. If that’s it, then all she has to do is calm down. There’s no reason for her to be anxious about anything.

Getting to school reminds her why she might be anxious. While it’s an all girls school, White Day is still big. It’s easy to hear people whisper and giggle about what they might get. Hanamaru had gifted everyone in Aqours some chocolate on Valentine’s Day. Getting everyone chocolate was more of a friendly gift than anything else. At least, when it wasn’t Yoshiko. She wouldn’t say it, but she made Yoshiko’s chocolates herself. There’s a tiny part of her that wants to get chocolates back, but she doubts it’ll happen. Yes, she can tell that her feelings are returned, but there’s no way that Yoshiko would actually say anything. 

It’s that one thought that gives her anxiety. It’s not going to leave anytime soon as far as she knows. And it’s bound to stay when she’s greeting by the person who’s giving her this anxiety. Yoshiko is floundering about, Ruby watching her oddly. The expression the redhead is giving her makes Hanamaru giggle. 

She’s noticed before long, sitting down and opening one of her books, Yoshiko comes over. The girl is excited, slamming her hands on the desk. “Hanamaru! Let’s hang out this weekend!” The excitement in her voice is a bit unusual. Hanamaru’s not that sure about what’s going on in the moment, but the thought of being near Yoshiko makes her happy. So she nods.

“Okay!” 

The day passes, and it isn’t long before Hanamaru, Ruby and Yoshiko are saying goodbye to each other. It was normal and uneventful. That’s how it usually is. Well, at least when it comes to the normal they’ve grown used to. Aqours… That’s not the most normal thing in the world, to be in an idol group. But it’s their normal. The normal they enjoy. And more importantly to Hanamaru, the normal that brought her back to her childhood friend.

Even with her nerves and anxiety, Hanamaru is able to fall asleep relatively quickly. It’s likely that she’s just tired. Though unlike her easy transition to sleep, Yoshiko finds herself staring up to the ceiling. It’s annoying. She needs to fall asleep already. There’s a lot of things to do tomorrow and this isn’t going to help her at all.

“Why can’t I sleep?” She wants to yell at herself, but stays quiet. A weird, almost memory like scene appears in her head.

She’s surrounded by clouds. They’re fluffy, it feels like she’s sitting on a soft blanket. The sky is bare besides her and the clouds, nothing else around. It’s quiet, her movements wanting to echo through the clouds and into the air. But they don’t. They stay within the small, invisible bubble that seems to keep her separated from much of the world. The silence is unnerving. There’s no sound besides hers at the moment. The sound of her breathing and small bits of fidgeting is all that can be heard. A voice changes it. 

The voice is dripping with a sweet, almost false kind, tone. “Come down here, it’s fun to play. You must be bored up in the clouds. Come down to me. Please?” The voice echoes through the sky, coming from below her. Yoshiko leans over to look down at what she assumes to be ground underneath the sky. There’s someone sitting there. She can barely make their face out, squinting to make out even small details. It takes a moment, but she recognizes the face. Hanamaru is staring up at her, the fake looking smile on her lips.

That’s when she snaps out of it. She’s not sure why she had that odd scene in her head. It felt real. It felt odd to be on her bed now, the familiar texture of her bed confusing her from the softness of the clouds before. Yoshiko is confused, deeply confused. She’s not sure what exactly to do. Why did she see Hanamaru? Why did it seem like Hanamaru was plotting something? That’s not how her friend smiles. It isn’t.

Something clicked. She doesn’t know what clicked, but something did. A dormant memory connected to something she thought was just a persona she made long ago. Wings, the sensation of something fluttering. She looks back, but nothing’s behind her. It must be that she’s just tired and needs some rest. 

Before trying to sleep, and successfully doing that, she looks at the calendar on her wall. Saturday; White Day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's shorter than the last one. welp

**Author's Note:**

> yohamaru! yohamaru! yohamaru!


End file.
